Relax
and Let it Happen
Busybodies
delight in giving advice to those with fertility issues. One of their favorite
claims is: "You just have to relax."
The
fact is that according to Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., director of the Mind/Body
Center for Women's Health at Boston IVF, assistant professor of obstetrics,
gynecology, and reproductive biology at Harvard Medical
School, and author of
Conquering Infertility, "…there is no evidence that relaxation per se
leads to conception."
Infertility
is classified as a disease by most health-related governmental bodies. As a disease, it can be thought of as being in the same class as
cancer or diabetes. No one would tell a cancer patient that if
he'd just relax, his tumor would shrink. In the same vein, taking a yoga class
is not liable to unblock your fallopian tubes or change the shape of your sperm.
On
the other hand, emotions can cause physiological response. Consider the fact
that fear can make you dry-mouthed, cause your heart to beat faster, and your
palms sweat. Consider too, some promising results in which relaxation
techniques lowered blood pressure without benefit of blood pressure medication.
In 1990, Irene L. Goodale documented decreased premenstrual tension in women
who used relaxation techniques. The aforementioned Alice Domar cited a study in
1992 in which IVF patients who practiced relaxation techniques prior to the
procedure had double the number of pregnancies.
In
any case, the stress of infertility is real. Janet L. Blenner in 1990 described
the eight step emotional progression of infertile couples.
1) Dawning
of Awareness
Couples plan to have their baby at a certain time, and are
surprised when it takes longer. They still identify with fertile couples.
2) Facing
a New Reality
A doctor's diagnosis causes the couple to face the reality of
infertility. Blame and guilt are assigned, perceptions of success rates are
skewed and side effects and risks of treatment are discounted. Isolation from
other couples begins.
3) Treatment
Begins
Hope, excitement, and high energy are experienced.
4) Intensifying
Treatment
Infertility becomes the focus. More money and time are sacrificed.
Anger and depression, increasing isolation, loss of control, avoidance of activities
involving children.
5) Spiraling
Down
Tears, feeling of being overwhelmed and enraged by the unfairness of infertility.
6) Letting
Go
Husbands first, then wives resume control of life, start to socialize but
without children. Quitting the fight for fertility becomes okay.
7) Quitting
and Moving On
Initial feeling of relief, then grief, sometimes initiates
adoption procedures.
8) Shifting
Focus
Childless couples become resigned, feel peaceful. Adoptive parents focus
on the child.
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