Coping With Infertility

If you are living with infertility or going through fertility treatment, you've probably heard or read soundbites such as ‘think positive' or ‘don't give up' more times than you care to remember. There's a lot of information out there telling you to stay strong and keep going but not so many tips on how you can do this. You've doubtless already read that stress and worry can contribute to infertility, but you have no idea how to avoid these emotions, which come so naturally at what is, after all, a time of great stress! The end result is that you are worrying about the fact that you are worrying, and getting stressed about feeling stressed. The aim of this article is to offer some practical advice on how to reduce stress and avoid dwelling on the less than pleasant aspects of fertility treatment.

Visualize Your Goals

You are the person that knows you best which means you are best person to draw up your own stress-reduction plan. Everyone benefits, however, from a little motivation. Motivation comes in different forms for different people, but many people find visualization of their goals helps. You can visualize your goal, namely a baby, in different ways. You may find it helpful just to picture yourself and your partner holding your child. You may want to describe the image in writing in a private place like a diary. You might create a vision board with photos, or drawings of your future family, or family photos which you find in magazines. The idea is to create a private resource for yourself to which you can turn in your weak moments. Perhaps when the stress of IVF is making you yearn for a cigarette or an alcoholic drink, or you are tempted to unleash your frustration on your partner even though you know it won't help, instead you can look back at your visualized image and focus on what you really want, your ultimate goal.

Eat Well And Exercise

By eating right and keeping active, you are not only making yourself feel better but doing something very practical towards helping you achieve your goal of becoming a mother. You should plan your diet and exercise routine in close cooperation with your fertility specialist. Through exercise you can take on new activities, meet new people, and generally create some distraction for yourself. Your fertility treatment is a big part of your life, but it will consume your life in a negative way only if you abandon all other activities.

Have Sex

You may have to force yourself from time to time to have sex for the sake of pleasure and not conception. It's hard to do but when you manage it, you'll feel great afterwards. After all, having good sex makes anyone want more - which will help you achieve your goal, right? If you know you are not ovulating at a certain time of your cycle, why not use that time to have sex in your favorite positions, even if they aren't the best for conception? Why not take a weekend break away to focus on romance? Your man is bound to appreciate your enthusiasm and you may find that your relationship benefits too.


Talking with your partner is extremely important and it's just as important to listen to how he feels as well. He may be keeping his worries to himself as he tries to support you. If you are finding it hard to express your feelings in a constructive way and your conversations are descending into arguments, you may benefit from seeing a fertility counselor both on an individual basis and as a couple. Your fertility clinic will be able to provide information on counseling - whatever problem you're having, they've seen it all before. Consider designating a time of the day or a day of the week when you both agree not to discuss your fertility issues. You may find it liberating to have a special time when it's ok to focus on other things, things you enjoy.

Get Informed

If feeling in control of your life is particularly important to you and/or your partner, fertility treatment can feel like your worst nightmare. Both your body and your future as a family are basically handed over to the medical professionals and you have to be at their beck and call in order to give the treatment the best chance of success. You may find the loss of control easier to accept if you understand why the fertility specialists are doing the things they do. Ask questions, speak up if you have doubts and read up on your particular treatment - the information on our website is a great place to start.


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