it's a personal choice for me, i don't place marriage very high i believe if you love each other thats all that matters no piece of paper is gonna change that fact, if we choose to get married then so be it but i dont feel like i have to get married or anything before children etc, me and my partner have both said if we chose to get married we'll do it if we dont we dont.

We haven't really told anyone we like to have a baby or trying but many of my close friends and family know my views on marriage so it wouldn't bother them plus most of my family had children before they got married or they never got married, even if people made any comments i wouldn't take any noticed as thats there views but mine is the only one that matters to me and my view is marriage isn't that important to me.

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I agree js_B3th!!!

we live together for 3 years now. we have our own home and have (fairly) well paid jobs. If we decide to get married it will be a long time in the future as it's not a priority for either of us. To be perfectly honest I don't want to spend my money on what is really just a party and a pretty dress (sorry if that offends anyone) and I hate being the centre of attention so would spend the entire day bright red! Plus my immediate family alone will fill most function rooms - I could redecorate my whole house with the money it would cost to feed that lot!

We did discuss our family and friends views before we started trying. I am from a catholic background on my dads side so i'm really not sure how they will take the news, My mum's side (My folks are divorced) are 'we're happy if your happy' types and so are OH's family - for the most part!

Nobody knows we are trying to and I won't be telling them.
I do think that they will all be happy for us when the time comes - our baby will be the first granchild on both sides and I will be the first of 15 cousins (all about the same age 20-28 - I did mention the Irish part right?) on my dads side to start a family.

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this doens't matter anymore today! as i noticed this happens to many women..

as they said, this is now the trend today!!lolz

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I'm 41 and for me at this stage it's more important to spend my money on our 1st child than getting married. We've been together for 7 years and marriage won't change anything, although we have been engaged fo 2 years now. It's primarily a money and timing issue now, in that I don't want to book a wedding but be too far gone by the time it comes around plus we would go abroad and flying maybe an issue. it's on the list of priorities but baby comes first for us.

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You know guys, I love you and completely respect your rights to not get married. Your relationships are just as valid.

But do you really have to justify it with "it's just a piece of paper" or "we don't need a party to show our love"? My husband and I didn't need the piece of paper, nor did we need a party. But *we* did need to get married because it's what we believe is right - not for everyone, but for us. Your life is your choice and you don't need to justify it - just please be careful in assuming the reasons people get married.

I originally popped in this thread to say that some of the best parents I know aren't married. And frankly, if I wasn't married and TTC and somebody started giving me a hard time, I'd be quick to point out the current divorce rates...

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its depends on both partner.. anyway, today if your'e pregnant without or before marriage, this is already accepted ..not to be ashamed of!!1

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just want you to know that I feel exactly the same as you...

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I can see both sides. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years and have been engaged since May. We arent getting married until NEXT February, bc sooo many family members were getting married over this past summer straight thru next Sept, so we figured we'd wait...

I had a mc in December, we were ntnp at the time, but it really put things in perspective for me.
I know that we'll be married soon enough, but lifes short and im not getting any younger (im 27) so I dont want to "waste" any time preventing something I want so badly, so we are trying to get pg in the next month or 2(doubtful that will happen...), so the wedding could still go on without me being 9 mnths preggo... but really, id rather get pregnant than have a wedding! we can always postpone the wedding..

i know my OH and I will get married, and we'll be together forever, so I want babies asap! it can take years for some people to get pg, and after my mc, i dont want to risk wasting time. it may not be rational, but its kinda what im going through..seems like the best option for us !

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We started trying to make a baby long before we even got engaged. I don't see why it matters one tiny bit? Makes no difference what so ever ..

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for me.. i still want the ideal way..marriage before sex/pregnant..

as said.true love can wait!

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it is nice really to hear to marriage first before sex... however, temptation is hard to fight!lolz

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I agree to Fictionappleby!!!

so touched for " true love can wait"...

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me too asland!!!

dreaming me... :)

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marriage is not a need for me.. what matters' most is we love each other and no more no less ;D

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for me, it really depends on the girl. coz i know some girls still wanting the old style marriage before pregnancy.

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whateever can make you happy letberry27 then go for it!

what's important is you're happy... ;D

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